18. March 2013 · Comments Off on Too Far To Go · Categories: I. 11 to 12 years, The Beast

Green trams

The developers are tearing down our house.  We move to Shaukiwan, too far for me to walk to school.  We are in a temporary apartment, waiting for our house to be built.   It is going to be in the yard inside the walls of the church.  There is already one house there.

I wake up very early, wondering how much time it would take for the tram and then the walk up the hill to school.  I have final exams.

I see my school uniform soaking in a bucket in the corner.  Linda says she is not going to wash it.  When did she ever wash clothes?   I’m panicking.  Can I wring it out and iron it dry?

Linda says no because she is not going to give me tram money or lunch money either.   Before I can catch my breath she goes into a rage.  It seems she was expecting some money when we were dumped on her by our mother’s rich family.

She spits out ugly things about my mother.  Then she grabs the framed photo of my mother that is my sister’s and smashes it on the floor.   Before she can hit me I duck and kick her in the shin.

She screams for my father.  She kicked me, she kicked me!

He comes into the room.  Without even asking what happened, he slaps me in the face, hard.

She insulted Mommy, I cry.

My father says, “Your mother ruined my life.”

It does not sound like heartbreak.  It sounds like anger, a thousand furies held back behind clenched teeth.


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